Religions of the World
TAOISM: Shit Happens HINDUISM: This Shit Happened Before ISLAM: If You Think Shit Happened, Take A Hostage BUDDHIST: When Shit Happens, Is It Really Shit? 7th DAY ADVENTIST: Shit Happens On Saturday PROTESTANTISM: Shit Won't Happen If I Work Harder CATHOLICISM: If Shit Happens, I Deserve It JEHOVAH'S WITNESS: Knock, Knock, "Shit Happens" JUDAISM: Why Does Shit Always Happen To Me? HARE KRISHNA: Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Dong ATHEISM: No Shit CANAAN BAPTIST: When Shit Happens, Blame It On Someone Else T.V. EVANGELISM Send More Shit RASTAFARIANISM: Let's Smoke This Shit Specialist's Signs
(Credit goes to whoever created this for email.)Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:"Dr.. Jones, at your cervix."**************************
In a Podiatrist's office:"Time wounds all heels." (read it again)**************************
On a Septic Tank Truck:Yesterday's Meals on Wheels**************************
At a Proctologist's door:"To expedite your visit, please back in. "**************************
On a Plumber's truck:"We repair what your husband fixed."**************************
On another Plumber's truck:"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."**************************
On a Church's Bill board:"7 days without God makes one weak."**************************
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :"Invite us to your next blowout."**************************
At a Towing company:"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."**************************
On an Electrician's truck:"Let us remove your shorts."******** ******************
In a Non-smoking Area:"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."**************************
On a Maternity Room door:"Push. Push. Push."**************************
At an Optometrist's Office:"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."**************************
On a Taxidermist's window:"We really know our stuff."**************************
On a Fence:"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"**************************
At a Car Dealership:"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."**************************
Outside a Muffler Shop:"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."**************************
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"**************************
At the Electric Company"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.However, if you don't, you will be."**************************
In a Restaurant window:"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."**************************
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:"Drive carefully. We'll wait."**************************
At a Propane Filling Station:"Thank heaven for little grills."**************************
And don't forget the sign at aCHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:"Best place in town to take a leak."**********************
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"