Religions of the World

TAOISM: Shit Happens
HINDUISM: This Shit Happened Before
ISLAM: If You Think Shit Happened, Take A Hostage
BUDDHIST: When Shit Happens, Is It Really Shit?
7th DAY ADVENTIST: Shit Happens On Saturday
PROTESTANTISM: Shit Won't Happen If I Work Harder
CATHOLICISM: If Shit Happens, I Deserve It
JEHOVAH'S WITNESS: Knock, Knock, "Shit Happens"
JUDAISM: Why Does Shit Always Happen To Me?
HARE KRISHNA: Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Dong
CANAAN BAPTIST: When Shit Happens, Blame It On Someone Else
T.V. EVANGELISM Send More Shit
RASTAFARIANISM: Let's Smoke This Shit

Specialist's Signs
(Credit goes to whoever created this for email.)

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr.. Jones, at your cervix."  

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."  (read it again)

On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit, please back in. "

On a Plumber's truck: 
"We repair what your husband fixed."

On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."


On a Church's Bill board:
"7 days without God makes one weak."

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout."

At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
******** ******************

In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."

On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank heaven for little grills."

And don't forget the sign at a
"Best place in town to take a leak."

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"